In the last blog post, we discussed setting some goals. Then I asked you to look at which ones came to pass, which didn’t and why to both. So you looked at your goals. SMART!
What worked and what didn’t? Could you identity what allows you to move forward? Could you identity what the stopping beliefs are?
Here’s the bigger question. “Are your decisions/beliefs your own limitations or are you carrying someone else’s point of view?
The truth is, over 90% of limiting beliefs – those decisions made yesterday or a very long time ago that stop you from achieving success according to your definition of success are what others have said to you about your self worth, the notion of what money means, limitations and focus! Phew that’s a lot of words.
In short most of your beliefs are taken from others around you.
Less than 10% are yours.
So even if you try as hard as you could to make changes in your life, you can’t change what is not yours in the first place!
Do you get what I’m trying to say here?
If you believe that you can’t make over a certain amount – over $100,000…
Or you believe that you can’t successfully run your own company…
Or you believe that work sucks and you should be entitled to more than what your spouse or employer offers….
What is the underlying lie or pattern that keeps popping in no matter what you do or don’t do? Is it yours? Or is it from your parents, heritage, teachers, siblings, friends, mentors?
Maybe what you believe should be your lifestyle is actually hindering your attempts? An example is my mother was groomed and quite content to stay at home and raise the family. She worked hard, but she loved the home part.
Now me. I’m a freer spirit and couldn’t wait to get out. Yet, a pattern emerged for me. Each time I went into a relationship, I quit my job or moved to accommodate the boyfriend.
I didn’t understand the pattern for years. Then I realized, I had my mother’s belief that to be an effective partner, one had to stay home!
I learned to flush that pattern out and eventually built a business of my own and staying in a relationship.
Or maybe this reality shows up for you. Do you enjoy leisure more than work?
You have to tell yourself the truth about what might be in the way of achieving your goals.
So what is the biggest problem that you can identify that keeps you from achieving your goals?
What is preventing you from feeling better about your circumstances?
Are you willing to increase the amount of time every day that you feel good inside?
I ask you this question because if you are currently feeling bad most of the time about your circumstances, or blame your current relationships for your situation, you are giving your power away to "bad feelings" instead of achieving those wonderful goals you think you want, there's your first clue.
Let me define clue more clearly.
We talked about focus last ezine. The same concept applies here.
Because the focus is on feeling bad, all the cells, energy, body, mind and soul is focussed on attracting situations to keep you feeling bad. See what I mean?
If you achieved your goals – which could be about earning over 6 figures, or presenting the workshop you know people want to attend, or bringing in a monthly income from a product or service that seems to attract income like bees to honey, or taking more vacations… how could you be feeling if you achieved your financial and personal goals?
If you’re blaming others, or sitting idle and not achieving the goals, you are hooked on feeling bad instead of shifting out of the dark gloom and experiencing a better mood. Ultimately, you are limiting your success.
When I use the phrase “feel good” I’m referring to that feeling you know inside of you that doesn’t depend on what others say, doesn’t depend on validations, just your own personal sense of well-being.
And if you’re not focussing on feeling good, you’re focussing on other aspects that eventually will have no option but to grow more intense. As a result, success eludes you because it doesn’t feel good.
How can you shift into feeling good more often despite your current circumstances?
- Take in a movie
- Love someone, physically and emotionally
- Take a drive by yourself or with your kids.
- Eat something you don’t normally eat.
- For me, I love walking a little farther than before. I get a sense of accomplishment, good health and I feel I have done myself a huge service.
- Appreciate what you do have.
Serve yourself. The trick is to focus on you.
Can you do that without activating guilt?
We’ll talk more about guilt in the next ezine. For now, turn your attention to yourself. When you begin to consider feeling good more often, and have things go well in your life all of the time, you may find yourself thinking, “Ya But…. That’s not possible!”
We’ll talk about Ya Buts…. more later as well.
In the mean time I urge you to stop worrying about why you can’t feel good more and whether it’s even possible. You know the answer. Of course it’s possible!
The only trick is whether you will allow yourself to feel good for you!
Gay Hendricks in his wonderful little book, “The Big Leap” wrote that it is most unfortunate that there wasn’t a class in elementary school or college called “How to Tolerate Longer Periods of Success and Good Feeling.”
I concur! Why is it that guilt is so prevalent?
Let’s figure it out. Was it beat into you? Did you decide you didn’t fit in your scheme of family relations? Or you just like to look grouchy?
Maybe you’re afraid of what other people will say if you smile or laugh, or feel good more than they do!
Whatever the reason, it’s not working to better your life, your income, or your commitment to succeed. I think you’ll agree with me here. All it’s doing is keeping you down and stuck.
This week, make an attempt to feel good about more things in your life. Try it out.
And great job today!