Of late, I had been experiencing a tad frustrated with some weight gain.
So I asked my team in my coaching program to help me out.
I asked for a healing around my weight. Although I’ve been a normal size for my height and stature most of my life, these past few years, I ballooned and didn’t understand why. I attributed this weight gain to an underactive thyroid. I attributed my underactive thyroid to menopause – yes, I’m getting there!
What I discovered was that the weight had to do with my unconscious belief I wouldn’t be taken care of in the long run. So obviously, I had to hold onto weight to stay fed, watered and protected! Yep, made total sense. When I understood the pain behind what had to be healed, the wheels started rolling!
Today I had the leisurely privilege of watching the original black and white movie, Les Miserable. If you haven’t seen the movie, Broadway play or musical, you are living under a rock!
At the last scene, just before the doting father (and he wasn’t even her real father!) allowed himself to be taken back to prison for stealing a loaf of bread over 2 decades prior, I became so angry, I was blubbering and literally shouting obscenities at the television set!
How could a father who was willing to do whatever it takes to ensure his daughter was safe and happy be sent to the brig!? How could a father who gave and gave and gave, be lead away for a crime of only giving to others?
What I saw was that daughter, happy, safe, content and having everything she could imagine. Her world was idealistic and surreal – thing is, I also viewed that she deserved being taken care of, no matter what!
Ta-da! Trigger! My childhood unconscious belief surfaced with gusto! Up to now I believed (and I had tons of examples to prove it!) that a girl could only be taken care of financially, emotionally, and successfully IF SHE HAD A FATHER who would first be completely willing to take care of her too! That sets the stage, don’t you think?
Well, trouble is, if she didn’t have that type of upbringing or father, well… so sorry, … so much for her lot in life… wouldn’t happen!
Yep. It came out in torrents of grief, tears to produce swollen eyelids, and an energy shift and release like the whole world just dropped about a million miles in an air pocket! Phew!
I was crying so hard, I decided to take a shower and pretend the water was gold pouring down into me.
What I didn’t realize was that my husband heard me and was so concerned about what was troubling me so greatly! Randy, bless his heart, understood exactly what my belief story was about; he promptly went out into the garden and picked me flowers.
I knew then that I had busted through a huge, HUGE block and that I would be taken care of no matter what. I knew then that my worth had nothing to do with my relationship with my dad. I knew then that I had released a core pain held for a very long time.
And I know then the I released the block and even if who’s in my life couldn’t give me what that doting father did, I could now give it to myself without any restrictions or resistance! Wow! Thank you, wonderful program!