You decided on the ideal career or love interest, and now you want to build the relationship according to what you believe a good relationship "should" be.
You bravely faced and released some of your biggest relationship issues. You became aware of distorted thoughts from your past and even bust through long time habits. You're ready to begin to build.
However, if you make this critical relationship judgment (to yourself or out loud) your chances of long-term business or personal relationship success will fizzle just as sure as the light flickers out in a burnt spotlight!
Before I tell you what the mistaken judgment is, let me share this story.
A client had a growing concern that as her career skyrocketed, she would spend less and less time with her family.
She became so concerned that her energy felt heavy. She hung out in a state of hopeful denial. She hoped she was valued and denied that her spouse or children would be angry and disappointed instead of happy for her.
Then the inevitable happened. Prospects didn't want to work with her. Why?
They actually felt her heavy energy and chose not to hire her. The energy was all wrong.
Here's what she failed to do. She didn't ask herself why she's really in business, and what does her family as well as her client base expect?
She held onto beliefs that mirrored she wasn't quite good enough.
She experienced difficulty, frustrations and lack of interest from her family and clients. Why?
Have you ever felt this way about something. You move forward in anticipation or expectation, however underlying is doubt and a little voice that keeps chattering away, ya buts!
You can get past this and actually increase business and increase family time.
Here's How To Release Doubt and Step Strongly into Confidence:
At the beginning stages of any business development, or even well into the success phases, ask questions of your partners, family members and friends who may be involved and affected by your success (or lack of).
You could communicate with those who support you and get a real sense of what genuine support feels like.
With the validation and support, you could release the doubts about continuing and feel good about your decisions.
Particularly, ask those people you think don't support you.
Listen to what they have to offer, then remove your own doubts and continue in the direction that feels best for you.
Once you "hear" what the important people in your life have to say, you won't go into assuming what they might say!
You are not an island onto yourself. And one of the biggest mistakes new entrepreneurs make is not asking for support from relevant resources. Instead they assume what may or may not come as perceived support.
Budding entrepreneurs must prepare by:
- taking proactive steps
- keeping an inspired vision of their business and life choice
- make goal and action adjustments to meet that vision.
- become more aware of everyone's options and opinions (realize they are not totally clear on their own picture of success)
- understanding what the industry expects
- understand what the best and worst outcomes could be
- and becoming so crystal clear about who their client is and what they want.
It's your expectations of yourself in business and in personal relationships that require a thorough investigation and not controlling and manipulating anyone to fit into a routine that just ain't goin' to happen!
You could let go of expectations and actually live in the moment. Sounds weird, doesn't it?
This is your chance to concentrate on and make a habit of taking care of yourself first – and let go of any expectations of how to get there.
Here's what else you can immediately apply to help yourself stay sane, appreciated and in demand.
First develop a positive energetic relationship with yourself.
That means find out what you believe about yourself and then decide to like yourself anyway. Or would you prefer not to have met yourself?
I didn't think so.
You could consider who you respect and emulate them.
Spend at least a day a week devoted to doing the things you love. People devote time and attention to things outside of themselves such as work, family and community. Where in that mix do you care for yourself?
Just applying these small actions will net surprising results. You'll begin to see many more opportunities to enjoy time with yourself.
Write it down. Journal your findings and above all else, remind yourself about what a great job you've done today!
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
You are so right Patricia, you have to believe in yourself before others will have any confidence in you. Great tips for entrepreneurs to be prepared for business and stay sane!
Great perspective, Patricia! Love the slant on this article…makes you think!
Great tips like always! I definitely feel what you are saying specifically with energy….so important to really take care of ourselves!
Oh I love your advice ! The question is the answer! I know right away if a person is in need of my service or just trying to pick my brain by the questions..;) Thanks…..writing this one down..;)
"Judge people by their questions rather than by their answers." – I really like this!
Great advice here, Patricia. And I love this quote – "Judge people by their questions rather than by their answers."
Excellent article providing sound advice to get past a doubting mindset and plant firmly with confidence to achieve our heart's desire!
Great advice here Patricia. Small actions do bring surprising results; wise advice! Thanks. x0x
Awesome post, Patricia. Your advice is great! Love this ' You could let go of expectations and actually live in the moment. Sounds weird, doesn't it…'' Definitely something to think about! Thank you.
You are so genuine and it shines through in your writing style Patricia. Sage advice and many thoughts to ponder here. I'm starting a journal on the first day of summer (June 20th) because I haven't journaled in a while. I can't wait to see what revelations come from it.
thanks Olga! a different way of looking at things! Patricia
JUdge people by their questions: I like that! Never thought about that. But it is so true; peole have questions that need to be answered and the questions reveal more of them than their answers. Thanks Patricia!