How do you react? Because your energy feels good, you don’t react negatively. You might just shrug your shoulders and keep driving with a smile on your face.Another day, you feel less than chipper. You would rather hide out today. In your mind you’re rumbling, “Leave me alone!”Your spouse growls at you as you walk into the room.You ask yourself “What now and why me?”
Now if you were in your car and someone cut you off, how would you feel about it?
A whole lot different you would imagine.
So here’s where the rubber meets the road.
The truth is, the world shows up for you according to your beliefs and how you feel about them in any given moment.
I can hear some of you saying, what? are you nuts?
However, you know in your heart this is true. So instead of blaming the world, ask yourself, what is happening for you as thoughts that is creating your response about what is showing up?
You are not normally a sad or growly person. It’s what you think (or don’t want) that creates the sadness. It’s what you think (or don’t want) that creates the melancholy. It’s not your client and it’s not your kids or spouse this time!Bear with me. We’re on a journey of discovery and you’re very close to finding out what makes you tick. In fact, really understanding this principle will make a huge difference for you about working less, becoming your own boss, or grabbing that big client you so want!Beliefs run you. We all know this by now. However, you may not even be aware of what they are. So it’s important to be aware of what you think about throughout your awareness journey.
Let me ask you these:
- Do you find yourself complaining?
- Or feeling overwhelmed?
- Or why do they have to change their minds so much
- Or that decision maker doesn’t know what he’s doing?
- Or worse yet, do you have the habit of telling others what hasn’t gone right or the way you expected?
Here’s few tips how to reduce and erase complaints and shift into more joy:
Grab that pen.
- Write down your most popular complaints. That means listening to your brain chatter.
- Notice how you respond when your client asks you to change something you’ve just done.
- Notice what pops into your head when he or she tells you he’s not going to pay you for things he didn’t ask for.
- Notice what you tell yourself when your partner changes plans without advising you first?
- Now check if others around you are complaining and how you feel when you hear them complain.
I love this metaphor for reflection which I call “Annie Get Your Gun!”
Notice that every time you point your finger and either accuse, blame or even positively “point out” something, only ONE finger is out there? The rest point BACK to you.That’s how reflection works.Next….pick one day a week when you could spend completely for yourself.Challenge yourself to become aware of your thoughts and words. Catch yourself complaining and stop it. Continue to validate yourself at every chance you can. Notice how you feel at the end of the day.Write it down and then have a good’s nights sleep.
If you’re up for the challenge, now pick one week a month and do the same – monitoring what you think, say and do that either supports you feeling good, or brings you down.
Want a bigger challenge yet? Now pick one month a year and do the same!
So listen, you’re developing some new habits here. For the next 3 weeks, stick to that one day each week. Then on the 4th week, practice all week. Then back to one day a week for another 3 and so on…
By the time 4 or 5 or even 6 months flow by, you are ready to take the bull by the horns and practice all month! And leave a note sharing how emotions have been your saving grace!
Great job today!